Too much "cardio"....not for me (Part 2)

Part 2!  Here we go.  If you haven't read part 1 or forgot what it was about...you can refresh by clicking here. 

I am already getting e-mails and private messages (most from other group fitness instructors might I add) about how I am knocking on the group fitness world...blah blah blah.  Did you guys not read my part 1 blog????  Please read thoroughly before you send me such nonsense!!!  And the fact that I am NOT finished with the series.  There is more!  I'm a group fitness instructor myself so why would I know it???  Geez!  SMH!  ANYWAY...moving on.......

Ok, so I talked a little bit about what types of training/workouts I did.  WHen I FIRST started, I didn't know what the hell i was doing.  SO I started off with the group fitness classes.  Before that I was just walking on the treadmill and kind of watching what others were doing in the weights section and tried to mimic them.  I remember the first group fitness class I went to.  Bodypump.  A class using weights.  High rep lower weights.  You will not see anyone deadlifting anything over 150 in there.  Hell, I don't think I've seen anyone DL anything over 100.  Like I said because it's high reps...and at a pretty fast pace might I add.  I thought that this was "THE class".  That this class will get me toned and buff and lookin all hot.  Boy was i wrong.  Don't get me wrong, it's a GREAT class.  And sometimes if I want something different I'll take that class.  Just for the hell of it.  It's a good class! 

As I said in part one....i was only becoming a smaller version of my fat self.  The group fitness classes were a start for me.  It got me moving.  AFterall...ANY type of movement is better than just sitting on the couch.  But After about 5-6 months of nothing but treadmills, ellipticals, group fitness classes, stairmills, and the occasional dumbells, I came to a stall.  No matter what I did nothing seemed to work anymore.  I decided to invest in a personal trainer.  Now as we all know...personal trainers are expensive!  I had my "lasik eye surgery fund" stashed away.  I asked myself....no contacts/glasses or a better body?  I chose a better body and emptied my lasik fund and hired Jason Urbanski--the head trainer at the gym I was working out at.  Let me tell you....BEST investment I've ever made!  I told you guys before I've worked with other trainers before...which is why I was so hesitant about hiring another one.  I've been dissapointed before, but EVERYONE at the gym had good things to say about him.  So I decided to give him a month and "test him out".   I'm sorry.  I'm vain as hell and I wanted to look good.  I was sick and tired of being fat and "ugly." 

Here is the man I always referred to as SATAN.  This was March of 2010.   He is gonna KILL me for posting his pic, but whatever!  I want you guys to see the man who has changed my life!

I'm not gonna lie.  I hated him.  I thought he was mean, and hard.  but that's what i wanted.  I didn't want anyone to hold my hand and say everything will be ok.  He didn't.  He only pushed me harder and although till this day he denies it, I think he was trying to "break me".  He hasn't.  haha.  After 6 weeks we weighed in and I lost 19 lbs!!!!!  You see, not only was Jason a personal trainer, he was also a strength and conditioning coach.  TRUST me when i say they are different from your typical "follow you around the gym with a clipboard" personal trainer.  We trained 3 times a week.  A lot of those were consisted of extremely heavy lifting and his psycho conditioning workouts.  When I say psycho I mean PSYCHO.  Biggest loser workouts on TV has NOTHING on Jason Urbanski.  I would cringe everytime we had to lift heavy!  I thought I was gonna "bulk up." I was still doing a lot more cardio and doing group fitness classes.  But I began to have a lot of "aha" moments with him.  Here is a good example of "less is more".

For the longest time I would be doing these hour long cardio sessions.  Jason's words?  WASTE OF TIME.  The "steady" cardio.  Even the group fitness classes I have to admit was steady of moderate intensity.  This is why I like teaching spin.  For those who have taken my class know for climbs and attacks, I have my class load up as much as possible on resistance and pedal as hard as they can before the break where they "release" the pressure and resistance.  Kind of like sprinters.  For about 30 seconds to a minute they will run as fast and hard as they can until it's over and then they recover.  This is also known as the HIIT (high intensity interval training).  A method I like to use is go as hard as you can for a minute...till you're about to pass out...then for a minute recover...then repeat for about 10-12 times.  I don't know about you...but I prefer the sprinters body over the marathoners body.  If you like the "marathon body" look, then please...by all means proceed with your long cardio sessions.  To each its own. 

In my case the group fitness classes were not enough.  I had to get a trainer.  Of course being healthy and in better shape was a plus......but one thing I observed while training.  All those people who did hours and hours of endless cardio on the machines and hours and hours of group fitness classes...all looked the same.  No real changes in their physique.  yes, they might lose weight, but I never really saw the "transformations."  It was only those who incorporated weight training and worked with good trainers that I saw transformations starting to take place.  I am the perfect example.  Now....if you are one of those who had a great physique transformation with just group fitness classes alone and cardio alone, i applaud you.  But it wasn't working for me and based on what I observed at the gym (trust me I was there 5-6 days a week), I didn't see much of it.  Even the group fitness instructors who taught like a zillion classes a day all looked the same.  Again, I am NOT knocking anyone.  It's just NOT the look I wanted.  Incorporated with HEAVY weight training and MINIMUM cardio is when my body started to change.  Part 2 is long enough.  I feel like I'm rambling.  But I will end with this:  I've done it ALL!  From group fitness classes to P90X to infomercial stuff.  What did it for me was not just heavy lifting, but working with a strength and conditioning coach.  In part 3 of the series I will get into how strength and conditioning workouts have accelerated my fat loss AND how the "less is more" really does come into effect.   I will also talk about meeting new coaches who I thought I would NEVER find....and incorporating other new workouts.....even kettlebells.  I'm still hesitant to release the sports bra/shorts fat pics so I will leave with this.  Maybe in part 3 I'll have the guts to post the mortifying pics.

Before I even knew what a gym membership was:

And me today:

Part 3 coming soon which will consist of what I am doing NOW and what type of strength and conditioning workouts I am doing with hardly ANY cardio.  Just once a week.  =)  And I like that cuz i HATE cardio!!!!!

Too much "cardio"....not for me! (part 1)

Been some time since my last "rant" or "rave",  But today....I'm baaaccckkkk!  =)

SO you've heard the mainstream and the norm right?  Ya know...to lose weight, get in better health, you gotta do this, this, this, and that.  Meaning....excercise regularly, eat 5-6 small meals a day, eat lean protien, eat a lot of veggies, avoid too much starch, avoid too much "bad carbs", avoid sugar......blah blah blah blah blah.  Right?  This isn't rocket science.  We all know you have to eat right and workout regularly.  Unless you are the .01% who is genetically blessed and don't have to lift a finger and can eat all the pizza and french fries you want and still have the body of a greek God or greek Goddess.  Am I wrong?  =)

In this blog I want to talk about the workout aspect.  The diet part will come later as I am still in the experimenting phase of my current diet.  Yes it's working like a charm but I want to give it a go for a few more months.  But since my workouts have also been giving me amazing results....I will talk about that first.

So we all know that cinco de Mayo of this year I had my knee surgery.  To make a long story short, I am bone on bone and will need a full knee replacement in the future, but not now.  I had surgery for a torn miniscus and damaged cartlidge.  They pretty much want to do a second surgery where I need an "alignment osteotomy" and where they want to inject new cells to see if I can regrow new cartlidge.  Recovery for that?  about 9 months to a year.  No thank you.  I am JUST recovering from my surgery in May.

You guys know how frustrating it was for me not being able to get to the gym.  After all that hard work.  Losing about 80 lbs and was on my way to more leaness when the knee crap happened.  I probably gained about 10-15 lbs after my surgery.  My recent Vegas pics show that really well.  You can see the difference from last years Vegas pics and this years Vegas pics.

Vegas last year:  July 2010

And Vegas of this year.  July 2011

You can clearly see the difference.  ESPECIALLY in my midsection and I wish my legs would have shown in the second bikini pic, but it was HORRENDOUS.  They were all squishy and with no muscle tone.  About 4-5 months prior to surgery I didn't do any lower body workouts except the spin class I taught once a week but even in my class I didn't use much resistance.  It was hell!  Then after surgery of course I didn't do much except go to physical therapy and try to heal as fast as I could so that I can hit it hard in the gym again.  You can tell that I lost a lot of the muscle tone in my arms and my face looks "fuller" as well.  10-15 pounds does make a big difference.  I had the "squishy" look that I dreaded.  Well, my knee isn't 100% but I am able to do lower body that I couldn't do before.

Let's track back 2 years ago when I was about 80-85 lbs heavier.  My next blog I will show from where I started (yes the mortifying fat pics) and to where I'm at now.  WHen I first started I started with the group fitness classes.  I had to start somewhere right?  For about 6 months I did nothing but these classes and then some of my own cardio and weight lifting.  I was in the gym 6 times a week.  It was spin class after body pump after bodycombat after more bodypump then the elliptical then hitting the free weights (yes the dumbells).  I was at the gym sometimes 2 1/2-3 hours a day.  Yes I lost weight but to be honest I was only becoming a smaller version of my fat self.  I had no definition.  Yes I was getting smaller, but that wasn't the look I wanted.  I wanted the vascularity, the muscles popping.  One of my favorite female fitness model is Jamie Eason.  This is what she looks like.  I love her physique.  Not only is she beautiful on the outside, she is the most humble, sincere, and kind individuals I have ever met.  She is also a woman of faith and NOT ashamed to tell everyone that.

Jamie's physique is one I want to hopefully achieve or pretty well come damn close to it.

What I realized is that I was wasting my time doing too much cardio.  You may beg to differ and I've already gotten a lot of crap from people who tell me that I'm wrong.  I'm not saying that my methods of training will work for you or anyone else.  But this is MY body and this is what is working for me.  From doing cardio 5-6 times a week I now only do "cardio" once a week and that is when I teach my spin class on tues nights.  You will never see me on another cardio machine (unless I'm warming up for 5-10 min) or another cardio class unless I'm doing it just for fun (like I really miss the Kangoo Jumps class I used to take--because it really is a fun class).  That's another thing....if you are smiling and having "fun" then you're not doing it right.  You want real results?  The workouts you do then should want to make you cry.  Go hard or go home!  ANyway, Ill get more on that later.

WHat I really wanted was a TRANSFORMATION.  Not just a smaller version of my fat self.  The group fitness excersice classes were great and yes i was losing weight, but then I stalled.  I wasn't getting the results I wanted.  That's when I met Jason.  The man you guys know I refer to as Satan.  That man has changed my life.  He wasn't your typical personal trainer who just followed you around the gym with a clipboard checking your form and telling you which workouts to do (ok, well yeah he did those things too, but stay with me here, lol).  I've worked with LOTS of trainers before.  But never one like Jason.  In part 2 of this blog I'll go more into detail about the workouts and how it's changed my life but let me just conclude this blog by saying this:
You can do all the cardio till you are blue in the face and do all the group fitness classes till you're laying in your own puddle of sweat.  But that is NOT going to do it for you.  I know this from personal experience but also my circle of friends and family in my life who has done the same things I have, but then with one little change...has changed not only their physique, but the saying...LESS IS MORE really did apply.  Hell, I'm a group fitness instructor myself.  I am in NO WAY bashing group fitness classes.  They are a GREAT addition.  But those alone is not gonna do it for you if you want to change your body.  Yes, you will lose weight and be healthier, but if you want a true transformation and change your physique.....you need to incorporate LESS cardio and more strength training.  And No bodypump does NOT count.  I am probably back to my Vegas weight of last year if not more leaner.  I think that was when I was in the best shape of my life.  The vascularity in my arms are finally starting to slowly pop through which I NEVER had.  =)
Before you send hate mail and disagree with me, let me finish this series first.  Part 2 coming tomorrow or within the week when I have time to write again.  =)  Until then.....happy training everyone!!!!!

The NPC competition I went to

I had a chance to go to the NPC Maryland/East Coast classics competition yesterday (8/20/11).  I went to support my good friend Panny Powell.  This was her first competition and I know how hard she worked so I wanted to be there to support her.  It's been a while since I've last been to these competitions.  I used to be a regular when Monica Brandt did her Bodyrock shows at George Mason years back.  I went to every single one of them.  I really didn't know much about the bodybuilding world until I met my friend Kevin.  (For you WWE wrasslin fans, you know him as "Alex Riley", but he will always be Kevin to me).  I also went to the Arnold back in 2008 and that's when I decided to jump back into the working out craze that I am in now.  Here is Panny winning second in her class.  Again it's her FIRST show!!!

I got a chance to talk to some of the figure competitors there and they were very friendly and gave me some good insight.  I also have friends who compete and let me tell you that I KNOW all the blood, sweat, and tears they put into to get competition ready.  It's not easy.  Most of them have to give up a social life due to the rigorous amount of training they put into.  Most of all, the diet.  That's my weakness.  I'm sorry, but I love food too much.  =D  Then I saw Panny (who I KNOW loves food more than I do) make the sacrifice and disciplined herself to win second place in her class in her FIRST competition ever.  That just motivated me ten folds to get my ass in gear and get to it.

I have always talked about wanting to compete.  NO ONE took me seriously.  I don't think I even took myself seriously.  Or I got the giggles and smirks and even had people say things like "Pshhhh, you can't do that.  It's too strict!"  I've even had people tell me that you already have to be in a lean state to compete!  Um hello????  Did you forget that I stuck to my diet and worked out everyday to lose over 80 pounds????  Did you forget that even with a bum knee I kept working out?  Did you forget that even after knee surgery I was in PT two days after and back in the gym 2 weeks after?  Did you forget that there was a time in my life where I thought I was gonna die but working out actually saved me?  And now you're saying I don't have the dedication or discipline?????  THAT right there just fueled me more.  I even got looks at the competition when I said I was serious and wanting to get back into hardcore to get to where I need to be to compete.  Geez!  Oh ye of little faith?  That just motivated me MORE to prove them wrong.  You guys know me.  When people tell me I can't do it...I DO IT!  SO....countdown begins....BRING IT ON!

I also want to give shout outs to Lindsay Sollers and Pam Jaeger for also being my inspiration.  I see them daily in the gym working so hard and even when I was going back and fourth they would still give me advice and tips and tools to use to try and lean out.



Now instead of talking about it, it's now MY turn to give the blood, sweat, and tears.  I know I have a long way to go to get competition ready.  Whether it takes me 4 months or 4 years (Gawd, I hope not 4 years haha) I WILL get on that stage at least once.  Whether I place first, second, or last is not what is important to me.  What's important is that I do it and prove that I can do it and once again shut those doubters up!  Life is too short to always wonder.  I'm not wondering.  I am going to DO!  I know a lot of you will be along with me on this journey!!!!!  =D

Jeanie

Paleo? Please!

I'm not against any "diets" and I always tell people to do what works for them.  Some swear by the Paleo, south beach, Dukan, etc...etc.  That's all fine and dandy, but what irks me is people who belittle me or "condemn" me for not eating a certain type of way.  WHen it comes to diets I am the QUEEN BEE of them all.  Why?  Because I have tried them all!  From low carb to vegan to south beach to atkins to diets to go....yeah...you name it, I have tried it.  But experimenting and tweaking I know what works for me and what doesn't.  Perfect example comes from today when having a conversation with a couple who swears by the Paleo eating methods.  This one lady literally went postal on me because I was eating grains and dairy and said that I was being toxic to my body.  Um, seriously????

Then they continued to "school" me on how the "primal" eating is the way to go and how that's how the cavemen ate blah blah blah.  Ok, first of all.....we have all evolved!  We are NOT in cavemen time anymore.  So I simply and politely told them that if we were to eat like the cavemen did, then I guess we would have to train like them too.  Meaning no gym memberships, no cardio machines or classes and certainly no free weights.  Afterall, back then they [probably used heavy rocks as weights and ran for their lives when big beastly creatures were chasing them down, right?  =)  So if we were to clearly eat like them, then we should train like them too!  Needless to say, that shut them up real quick!!!

I've said this in my previous blog.  Don't go with "mainstream" all the time.  You need to find what works for you.  If what you are doing is working, then great!  Keep it up.  If not, then obviously there needs to be tweaking and adjustments.  I am constantly working on my training and eating.  As I said before, I think I finally found what is working for me.   This is still in the works.  We shall see.  So if ANYONE ever tells you you are doomed for life for not following a certain "protocol diet" DON'T LET THEM!  The choice is yours!  =) 

Kettlebells. Who would have ever thought???

One month of a different approach of training.  I can't believe it!  For the past two years I have been following the "mainstream" approach to fitness and health.  You know.....eat 5-6 meals a days, limit starches, no sugar, weight life, cardio, blah blah blah!  Though for that first year I got PHENOMENAL results, but I'm not gonna lie.  I kind of hit a stall.  A Plataeu.  A sudden stop.  Whatever you want to call it, I hit it.  Not to mention the knee surgery that totally put me a few steps back. 

Let me just say that this month of training alittle differently, changing up the way I eat, and talking to lots and various coaches/trainers.....I think I found what works for me.  Let me tell you, I had to pick brains on a LOT of people.  Some criticized me.  Some told me I was nuts.  Some told me I was going into information overload....some even told me I had way too many teachers.  My thoughts on that?  Pshhhhhh!  My opinion on that is, fitness and health, like medicine or any other field, requires a lot of information.  There is always the "new".  I mean when fitness first started it was all about cardio.  then it was all about weight training.  then it was all about "muscle confusion."  Then it was all about crossfit.  Yeah, no wonder everyone is so confused.  The way I feel is that the more you learn and the more you soak in, the more you'll be educated and the more you'll know what works....especially for you!  I wanted to know more about functional movement training, and learn about TRX training (which by the way wasn't for me), and other methods that will improve ME!

It's always good to try new things.  With trying new things, I am also allowing myself to get out of my "comfort zone".  My new training regimen is now doing kettlebell workouts.  I knew what they were.  I just never thought much of it.  I always looked at it as big ball things with loopy handles.  I figured I can always do stuff with heavier dumbells.  I mean who needed stupid kettlebells?  It wasn't until I met someone who is a nationally ranked kettlebell champion.  At first I was like "what the hell?  They have that?"  Oh yes they do.  The more I spoke with this individual, the more intrigued I became.  Little did I know that there is a kettlebell sport.  With the knee getting better, I wanted to try it.  I even talked to my trainer about it and he just kind of shrugged it away.  Then I figured here I am training with one of the best trainers I've ever worked with who knows so much, but if he is shrugging it away, then why should I care?  But something kept me interested.  So much that I contacted a friend who lives in another state that owns his own kettlebell gym for some guidance.  He has competed in many bodybuilding competitions and he was actually one of my mentors and I still go to him for advice.  He said now a days kettlebell training is pretty much the only type of training he does of course with functional training.  I wanted to take that next step.  He actually knew of someone in my area and told me I should check it out.

I have been meeting with my new kettlebell coach for two weeks now.  It's only been two weeks so I am still VERY raw.  The first day I was all over the place!  He probably had a few good laughs when he went home.  Because i looked and felt ridiculous, but let me tell you....it was probably one of the hardest workouts I've ever done.  It looks so easy!  But it's NOT!!!!!  I have committed myself to this new trainer (yes I am cheating on current trainer).  For those who know me know how impatient I am.  I wanted to perfect the form and learn this like yesterday.  Two weeks later and I am still struggling to get the right form.  This is a new task for me.  I am going to stick with it until I perfect this!  Thank God I have such a patient coach.  He probably gets so frustrated with me.  haha.  But I will make him proud!  Probably going to step it up a notch and add more days to train.  I can't wait! 

Also, another thing I wanted to add is that I think I am at my leanest now than I've ever been.  ONE MONTH of totally different approach!  I'm going to give it a few months and see how this goes.  You have to find what works for you.  DOn't always listen to the "mainstream."  I think I finally found what works for me.  Though I may not be as "cut" as i once was, it's exciting that a lot of my smallest clothes are fitting loose.  Maybe that's a female thing.  haha.  More updates to come. 

Good girls TONE, bad girls LIFT!

So I hear this time after time and it just plain pisses me off and I wanna smack these "chicks" who just have NO FRIGGIN CLUE!!!!  "I wanna tone!"  "I don't like to lift heavy because it makes me bulky..."  wah wah wah!  shut up already!  It's not the lifting heavy that makes you look "bulky" but it's the FAT layered on top the newly built beautiful muscle that makes you look bulky!  To look lean you have to also burn FAT but cardio alone will NOT shed all the fat!

Now, I'm no personal trainer....nor am I a fitness expert, but I know what works and I know that you females will NOT become Mr Olympia by lifting weights!  Yes to shed fat, you do need cardio, but not as much as people make it seem or THINK.  My trainer has been saying this over and over and over again.  And for the first time....I listened to him.  For the past 3 weeks I have limited cardio and actually increased in my lifting and included more functional movement training (thanks Joe for helping me out there).  I think I have leaned out faster and more in these 3 weeks alone than the year and a half I spent on hours of WASTED cardio and most important wasted TIME!  "Jeanie you finally LISTEN!"  was my trainers response.  Now I know. 

I have conversations time after time with a lot of females who always say "Weight lifting makes me bulky."  Well, yes it does....at first.  I had that same problem.  But it's because of the FAT.  To lean out, you need the muscle to help shed fat more efficiently.  Cardio alone will NOT lean you out.  I mean it might, but unless you are including weight training, you will always have that "squishy" look.  "Skinny fat" is what my trainer calls it.  I agree.  I do cardio maybe only twice a week.  Tues nights when I teach my spin class and maybe on thursdays if I feel like it.  Mon and Wed I train with Satan and all we do is lift heavy.  If you see me training you KNOW how we do it.  The only form of "cardio" is the first 5 minutes he has me on that damn Jacob's ladder.  The rest of the days on my own I will do a functional training that Joe sends me or on my own do heavy lifting again.  Oh lets not forget the diet.  Just get rid of the processed crap and you're good.  I will blog about that another day.

Just as the title says...."Good girls tone (gag), but the bad girls LIFT."  The reason why a lot of women (like the ones you see on oxygen magazine or fitness magazine...hell even the celebrities) look "toned" is because they LIFT!  You don't get muscle tone by "toning".  So challenge yourself and get off the stupid ellipticals, get out of your comfort zone, and try something out of the oridinary.  Try lifting heavy and actually try something like HIIT or functional movement training and I guarentee you WILL get results!  It took me over a year and a half to figure this out and actually listen.  lol!  =) 

I am including new training methods to my regimen and actually working with new coaches.  Let's see what the next 3 months brings!  =)  I am going to give it 110% and push ten folds!  =)

Why I don't beat around the bush.....and why I don't take life for granted

"Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce and Bentley don't have commercials? REASON: They know the value of their product brings customers to them. LESSON: When you know your value, you don't have to beg people to like you, to be your mate, to spend time with you or to love you. Be confident in who GOD made you to be. Everyone can't afford the luxury of your friendship."

This quote was posted as a FB status of my best friend.  I was at a very low point in my life when I read that.  And it's sad that reading a QUOTE of all things made me realize that the QUOTE is exactly right!!!!  It's so true.  "Everyone can't afford the luxury of MY friendship."  I know what kind of person I am, and so do those who are close to me.  They KNOW my flaws, my weaknesses, my strengths, what pushes me and most important....what keeps me going.  

"Don't take life for granted."  So true.  Not everyone was ever faced with the questions of "Will I live to see tomorrow?"  or "How much longer do you think I have to live?"  Unless you have, you have NO IDEA how precious everyday of living is.  I have been there!  Not everyone knows my story.  Hell, not even my own family knows the whole story.  I plan to keep it that way.  Only those extremely close to me know which is why they get it.  I'm not here to have people feel sorry for me or give pity or anything like that.  WHat I want is people to understand.  There is a reason why I don't waste my friggin time.

When you don't know if you will live to see the next year, you do everything to live life to the fullest and how you dreamed of.  Now you may not accomplish it all, but at least you tried right?  This is why I don't have time for drama, BS, and most important, ignorant people.  I try to see the good in everyone.  I even ask myself "Was it me?"  "What did I do wrong?"  NOTHING!  It's 99% of the time them.  lol.  This is why I have goals and accomplishments I want to achieve.  Also a reason why I am soooo hard on myself and push myself.  People know....I AM EXTREMELY IMPATIENT.  =P  But if you were ever told in your life that you may lose your life.....your mentality changes.  You want to do everything and grasp everything....before it's too late.

This is also another reason why I tend to latch onto people.  If I meet good people, I want to be around them.  I like to surround myself with positive energy, laughter, and happiness.  You never know when the last time you'll see them again.  That goes the same with relationships.  Ok, I am 32 years old.  I am too old for games.  The play hard to get or let him chase mumbo jumo is just stupid if you ask me.  I mean seriously?  We are not in high school anymore.  Yet these guys like to play these silly games.  If I like a guy I will LET THEM KNOW.  I think the "wait for him to call or wait for him to contact you" is just silly.  I don't waste my time.  If you don't like me, then I'll know.  I've been given EVERY excuse from the "I'm so busy with (insert ten gazillion things here)" to the "it's not you, it's me..."  LOL!  REALLY?  Yeah at first i get pissed, but then I get over it.  They just weren't that into me.  Like I said, life is too precious to sweat the stupid things.  Especially guys who just don't know what they want.  "Everyone can't afford the luxury of your friendship."  Touche, my friend....touche!

Yeah yeah...all this talk about life and death etc.  Like I said, only a few know and maybe one day...my REAL story will be out.  But not till I accomplish everything first.   This is to prove my point.  Things will come your way.  Even things you don't want.  But if you put your heart and soul into it....it WILL be accomplished.  God has been by my side this whole time.  Of course ALL THE TIME I ask "Why God, why????"  But then I am reminded....Just leave everything to God.  He will take care of the rest!  =)

I will end with three of my favorite quotes which also my mentor Jamie Eason has posted.  I look up to her because she has accomplished so much in her life.  She's battled cancer, survived, reached her goals and is still living to tell.  She is also a woman of faith and I admire that highly about her.  =)  She is one of the true inspirations that gave me hope.  Because through her battles, she has conquered also.  Thank you Jamie!  =)

Someone may be faster or look better but absolutely no one will beat me in conviction and determination!

"You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage them." - unknown

"The task ahead of you is never as great at the Power behind you!" - Ralph Waldo Emerson